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给小南的第一封信

小南:

我是爸爸。自你出生起,爸爸的心里甭提多高兴了。咱家又多了一员,爸爸又多了一份牵挂,希望你健健康康的长大,快快乐乐的生活。

第一次做爸爸,其实我和你一样,对未知的领域一样不知道该怎么好,没关系,我们都可以从头学起。我学习怎么样当一名好爸爸,你学习如何茁壮成长。

在你接下来的人生中,你会遇到很多人和事,这个世界,有你想像不到的辽阔,也有你无法理解的狭隘。但是你看,太阳每天都会照常升起,漫长的黑夜过后又是崭新的一天。日复一日,步履常新。

爸爸希望你懂得一些朴素的道理,并身体力行。这个世界很大,有太多的东西需要你去体验和探索,有太多的问题需要你去解决和避免,爸爸也会把自己的人生经验告诉你,丰富你的智慧。漫长人生路上,爸爸最想给予你的不是金钱,也非物质,而是方法。方法是什么?方法是智慧,是道理,是规律,是原则 ,是你认为坚持和对的东西。

所以爸爸在给你的第一封信中,就总结一下爸爸35年来的所思所想。

首先,爸爸认为经历是人生最大的财富。

这是独一无二的。从小,爸爸随爷爷奶奶生活在农村,大自然的气息中,爸爸见到农村里各种各样好玩的东西,各种小动物,各种植物,天上飞的,地上跑的,水里游的,地里生长的,爸爸都好奇的看着研究着,上学后,爸爸从书里学习到了更多知识,知道了农村以外的城市,知道除了中国,世界上还有很多国家。随着你不断长大,你知道的也越来越多,科技、人文、历史、地理、哲学、艺术……通过你学习的这一切,不断帮助你更好的了解自己,了解他人,了解生活,了解这个世界,了解宇宙的一切。

爸爸热爱这一切。从小,爸爸向爷爷学习,爷爷写得一手好字,每逢春节,爷爷都是自己用毛笔手写的春联。爷爷当过机械工人,也当过一段时间的修表匠。平时爷爷还会木工、电工和焊工,自己在家制作家具和生产工具,连爸爸小时候的双人婴儿推车都是爷爷一手打造的。所以,爸爸从爷爷身上学习到了很多很多。最重要的一点就是动手能力很强。而如今,爸爸希望你也能够像爷爷和爸爸一样,会很多技能。因为这样的男人才会更有魅力。

爸爸还参军到了部队。五年的时间,爸爸学会了看军事地图、使用指北针测量和计算方位角,开过长江750的边三轮摩托车,当过连队文书和军械员,打过各种枪,进行过全副武装海上蛙泳训练,登上过运输舰和武装直升机,参加过实兵演习。期间,爸爸还立过功受过奖。这些,都是爸爸的经历。

退伍后,爸爸进入职场,一路走来,从职场小白到独挡一面。从一无所知到能够把事做好。靠的是积累和不断学习。事情有重要不重要,有紧急不紧急,首先要看形势分先后;其次要会做,会做就是目标、任务、方法。目标是把事做成,任务是事情要做成需要分为几个段划,方法是每个阶段做什么,如何做。这样一来,有做成的,一回生,二回熟,熟能生巧,事情越做越好;有做失败的,总结与反思失败点在哪里,如何解决,避免再犯。如此积累,你就能解决身边遇到的各种问题。但想要更高的发展,你必须时刻学习。一草、一花、一木、一人、一事,都有值得你学习的地方。爸爸抱着无限的兴趣和好奇观察和认知这个世界,stay hungry , stay foolish . (求知若饥,虚心若愚。)爸爸希望你也能做到,要宁静致远,不要狂妄自大。爸爸深知,看似你当下所学的知识一无所用,但具体到某个点,你会发现事事关联,能够帮助你看清全局,认清本质,比别人更进一步。

其次,爸爸认为天下大同。

所谓大同,就是所有道理都是一样的,就像一个人有不同的样貌,但身体构造一样,都有心肝脾肺肾。复杂是表象,绕过复杂,背后是简单。爸爸发现,这些朴素的道理,上千年来人们不断总结,随处可见。藏于古诗词中,匿于各文章中。只要你用心寻找和总结,你就会有所长,有所得。

当你真正领会这些道理的时候,你就有了一个基础。遇到任何问题,你都知道如何分析与解决,如何找出本质和关键点,如何抽丝拔茧,一步一步去解决。有人说,隔行如隔山,爸爸不认同这一点,爸爸认为,专业知识是可以学的,但行业的门道是需要摸索的。你只要掌握规律和方法,你就能很快找到这些门道,进而入门,然后深入。

这个道理用在一个人身上,我想,一个人活的明白练达,首先认知上要到达一个高度,而这个高度就是大智若愚。明白可以是糊涂,糊涂也可以是明白,只是当下知道而说不说破的问题。爸爸认为,当你明白了事理,明白了能力所及,明白了善与恶,对与错,舍与得,你就学会了生存法则,处世之道。

最后,爸爸认为,成熟的标志是做真实的自己。

你要认清你自己。以前,爸爸经常为自己是农村出来的而苦恼,自卑。随着年龄和认识的增长,爸爸逐渐认识到,一个人的高贵不是出生,而是教养。爸爸和妈妈曾经就你的未来而讨论过,大意就是,不求你荣华富贵,只求你三观正,心智成熟,身心健康。因为这是人的根本。

爸爸曾在一个汽车广告片上看到这样一句台词,觉得很好,摘抄给你:不张扬,不嫉妒,不放纵,不惧,不盲目跟风,不争先,不恐后,不畏首,不畏尾,不虚张声势,不急,不慢,不莽撞,不夸大,不妥协,不独行。

做真实的自己,需要你拥有强大的内心。乔布斯说过:你的时间有限,所以不要为别人而活。不要被教条所限,不要活在别人的观念里。不要让别人的意见左右自己内心的声音。最重要的是,勇敢的去追随自己的心灵和直觉,只有自己的心灵和直觉才知道你自己的真实想法,其他一切都是次要。

海纳百川,有容乃大;壁立千仞,无欲则刚。只有你活得真实,才无惧一切。

写这封信的时候,你刚过完一周岁,爸爸下班回家,你喜欢让爸爸拉着你的小手不停地走来走去,你喜欢扔东西,扔完东西后看爸爸的反应,然后咯咯的笑。你真的很喜欢笑,和妈妈一样笑点很低。你也有了脾气和想法,我和你妈妈说,这小子意识开始觉醒了。时间过的真快,想你刚出生的时候,又黑又轻,爸爸没有过多的感动,只有紧张。看着你一天天的长大,爸爸紧张的心也放了下来,觉得很幸福。爸爸没有其它的想法,只是想创造一个空间让我们进行对话,在你十八岁以前,爸爸每年给你写封信,汇报一下爸爸妈妈的生活和一点感悟,供你参考 。

总结一下,第一封信,爸爸讲了人生感悟,关于经历、大同和真实。我们明年见。

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